Life used to be so hard, Now everything is easy 'cause of you

My parents always had music playing in our house. It would be a potluck of music from their generation, their parents' generation, the current soft rock and Christian contemporary. There are a few songs that really stick out in my memory and "Our House" by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young is one of them. When I finally got to the age when the words I was mindlessly singing started to grab real significance, I remember thinking that this song is what represented being an adult with a home and a family and not just a place to live.

Well, I finally have my home, an awesome husband and a cutie daughter, so I decided to buy a bunch of frames and decorate the walls and bookcases. As we were figuring out the best placement and arrangement of the photos, I started to see how some of my favorite photos/artwork represented some of the people and memories that mean a great deal. Here are some examples.

 

This is at the edge of the kitchen and dining area. The bagel sign on the top is of Finagle a Bagel, a chain bagel shop I tried to eat at every time I visited my friends in Boston during their college years. Boston still stands as one of my all-time favorite cities because of all the great times I had up there.

The frame in the middle with the colored glasses and champagne flutes was taken at a bachelorette I threw for a friend. Actually, that was from the first try. There was a do-over for the party, which is a much longer story.

The framed quote to the right was decoration taken from Derek and Ashley's weddingish, May 17, 2009. It reads, "The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships. ~Anthony Robbins." That weekend is still one of my top 5 best weekends ever, and it was also very significant to my relationship to Scott.

The house is where I grew up in Wyckoff. It was a lovely home and sadly, it no longer exists. The man who bought it from my parents in 2005 decided to knock it down and build a monstrosity. Very sad.

The Chinese garden was a photo I took from an outing to Duke Gardens with Cyrus Chi. The Man-Chi and I had a great time wandering around the huge indoor botanical gardens and I was able to take a bunch of great pictures. For anyone who lives in NJ, check it out - you will not be disappointed! Duke Gardens

The picture of the waterfall is from a family trip to our relatives in Montana. I have no idea where this particular waterfall is located because I took this photo either in middle school or early high school.

The collage of pictures are of my friends from NJ. The group photo of the girls are of my close gal pals from high school; the group photo above it was from our prom weekend (with the Funqwat buried underneath us); and there are a couple other pictures of a different prom, my favorite of which is the one with all the guys hanging off a swing set.

The large frame hanging on the wall is something that Scott received when leaving the base in Minot, North Dakota. A bunch of people saying how awesome he is, which is all true.

The frame on the left sitting on the bookcase was taken from my exploring Jonesborough, Tennessee. Every year they have a festival dedicated to storytelling and it's a big, big deal. The town is so tiny and quaint, I couldn't help but feel like I've been transported to a different time. The hats are bolted to the side of store and people can stand underneath them for a photo. I just thought it was super cute. Oldest town in TN

The two smaller frames next in line are both mementos from my brother-in-law's wedding. This was one of the first few 'dates' I got to have with Scott back in 2005 and I'm happy to have kept the escort card.

The frame to the right is a collage put together by Derek and Ashley given to us as a wedding gift. There are several pictures of Scott and me from their wedding and a couple from when our group of friends would just hang out at the Sonderfans' home in North Haledon or at the pool hall in Pompton Lakes. The quote on the top is, "The art of love... is largely the art of persistence. ~Albert"

The frame on the top shelf is a group photo at the Cheesequake rest stop. I forget who started the tradition, but anytime our group of friends went down to the Jersey shore, there had to be a photo taken at this rest stop. I believe this one was from summer of 1997.

The black and white photo is from our wedding ceremony at The Garden of the Gods in Colorado. There were a ton of pictures taken by our family and friends, but this is my favorite of the few friends who got to come to our very small ceremony.

The frame on the right is of my family at Hershey Park, Pennsylvania. I can't remember how long ago this was taken, but it was before my sister had her two little daughters and when I still lived with my parents.

There are more pictures and artwork I tacked up on the wall, but I just wanted to share a handful of the love mementos with which I surrounded our home. Pretty soon, there will be many photos of Violet as she gets to meet the rest of my relatives and friends. I look forward to all of it.

Mr Sandman bring me a dream

Scott and I are still trying to learn Violet's likes and dislikes, and more importantly, what will help lull her to sleep. For the past couple of weeks, we've been having difficulty finding the various combinations of actions needed to convince her nighttime is for sleeping. We are fully aware some children are night owls (I'm looking at you, dear brother), but we are still optimistically hopeful.

We were given a swing by a coworker of Scott's who has two kids of his own and the younger one just recently outgrew the swing. When I ran out of ideas of how to soothe Violet after one of her feedings, I decided to have her try it out. The results were inconclusive--

In my prison cell I bide my time, Always thinking, Always busy cooking up an angle

Violet will only allow herself to be swaddled on very rare occasions now a days. It's as seldom as when she allows me to set her down either in her crib or pack n' play for her first morning nap so that I can have breakfast.

If by chance she lets me swaddle her, there is a time limit. After a short while, she channels Houdini and this is what I find while I listen to her grunt and strain against her straightjacket:

Esc-a-pay

Man and a woman have a little baby, Yes they did, Now there's three in the family, It's the magic number

Today marks three weeks since Violet came out and joined us. And I am happy to report, that all of us are still alive - to varying degrees. The paternity leave Scott got to take right after she was born was incredibly good for the both of us and Violet was kind enough to ease us into taking care of her. The first week and a half, she mostly slept whenever her bothersome parents weren't waking her to change her or to remind her to eat. We had a bit of a weight gain/jaundice issue and she is still having troubles with breastfeeding, but for the most part we've got her back to the healthy side with a combination of breastfeeding, pumping and formula.

She really started to kick up the fuss-level last week and since then she's been giving us a run for our  money. But then she would turn on the cuteness charm and we almost HAVE to forgive her. I really can't quite tell what her personality will be like yet. The things that I've been able to tell so far is that she likes staring at our bookcases and I discovered yesterday that she likes classic country music - Kris Kristofferson, Waylon Jennings (and other Highwaymen), Tanya Tucker, Crystal Gale - and she doesn't mind me singing along to classic rock.

I am still waiting for the opportunity to snap a picture of her dimples. Since it's too early for her to be a social smiler, it's hard to predict when she'll flash her cute-chubby-cheeked smile. But it'll happen and it will be well documented.

Itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout

Since about Friday, we've been noticing some eye gunk that kept appearing in Violet's right eye that no matter how many wipes with a hot water washcloth we've been gently wiping it away with, it would return. I was already slightly concerned, but I finally decided to look up what it possibly could be on the internet - which I hate to do with anything medical with all of the unmonitored, crazy hypochondriacs out there posting worst case scenarios all the time. After cross referencing several sites I trust, I turned to Scott and suggested we make a visit to the base hospital. Because today is President's Day, we had to go to the Urgent Care, being that was the only part of the hospital really open. After a quick phone call to the UC, we started to get ourselves ready to see if little Violet had an eye infection.

I took the first shower and while I was finishing up, I quickly opened up my towel ... and a dime-sized spider popped out and I saw it shoot toward the corner of the bathroom. Thoroughly freaked out, I examined the rest of my towel just in case there was another arachnid surprise ... and found the small eggsack that Charlotte left behind. Sometime between my shower yesterday and today, that eight-legged creature decided it was time to nest. Now, I'm beyond the point of the heebie jeebies, but I had to get ready to go to Urgent Care, so I didn't have time to think about it.

If this happened anytime else, and if I didn't have more important things to think about, I would have just kept freaking out for the rest of the day. Gross.

Oh, and the doc confirmed it was conjunctivitis in Violet's eye, so we got some drops - so far, she's fairly easygoing with taking that medication.

Doctor, doctor, Gimme the news, I've got a bad case of loving you

Today was Violet's first doctor's visit and I'm relieved it was scheduled so soon. Violet and I have been having struggles getting her breastfeeding habits down and it's been difficult. I wasn't taking too much offense to how many nurses it took us to get her to feed while we were at the hospital over the weekend or how it was proving to be largely unsuccessful when we finally got home. I know, and have been told, how there is a big learning curve on both the mother and child's part in getting into a rhythm.

I was not going to be deterred. I knew I wanted to go this route even before countless people started spouting stacks of data to support breastfeeding. But I also knew that sometimes, it just doesn't happen and it means nothing other than having to take alternative actions to nourish the baby. I was not going to let the first few detours throw me off. But, after last night's long marathon of *(editor's note) no little result, I was getting very worried that Violet wasn't getting was she needed, hence the relief to have an appointment with a medical professional.

They were nothing but nice in checking her out and even allowed me to sit with an incredibly kind and patient nurse who actually SHOWED what Scott and I could do, rather than just wake me up in a mostly sleep deprived state to shove Violet around me and leave before I could really ask a proper question once my brain finally caught up with being awake and alert.

Last night's frustrations added to many, many people repeating, 'Don't take it personally; it's perfectly natural; it has no reflection on you' and the fact that everything on my body aches, from my toes to my head, I finally had my first Mommy Freak Out.

With everyone saying, 'Don't worry', 'Don't worry', it's basically like saying to someone: DO NOT THINK OF A PINK ELEPHANT. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT THINK OF A PINK ELEPHANT. Well, guess what? I thought of the damn pink elephant. In fact, I ended up thinking about a whole herd and that herd stampeded over me with a large dose of hormonal-losing-it.

I was disappointed and a little worried before, but I was fine with the pediatrician telling me that we needed to supplement Baby Girl's breastfeeding with formula. And I already have a breast pump, so she will still get what my body produces for her and I was never under the thrall of the ideal and magical bond she and I will share with breastfeeding. I already knew if that wasn't going to happen, it's not the end all, be all in bonding. Where my 'fine' derailed is person after person telling me it's fine and don't worry and don't give up. I had no intention of doing any of those things until the chorus of those people's well intentioned encouragement did the opposite effect and completely spun me out.

It took me a little while to regroup and find my inner voice I was listening to before the freak out, but I found it, I resumed the doctor's orders and Violet and I (and Scott who had to talk me down from the ledge) continued on with our evening. We have another appointment tomorrow and we get to see the result of the first day's work.

It's just funny how I react to what people's go-to idea of what 'support' means.

One and one and one is three

Happy Valentine's Day!