Itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout

Since about Friday, we've been noticing some eye gunk that kept appearing in Violet's right eye that no matter how many wipes with a hot water washcloth we've been gently wiping it away with, it would return. I was already slightly concerned, but I finally decided to look up what it possibly could be on the internet - which I hate to do with anything medical with all of the unmonitored, crazy hypochondriacs out there posting worst case scenarios all the time. After cross referencing several sites I trust, I turned to Scott and suggested we make a visit to the base hospital. Because today is President's Day, we had to go to the Urgent Care, being that was the only part of the hospital really open. After a quick phone call to the UC, we started to get ourselves ready to see if little Violet had an eye infection.

I took the first shower and while I was finishing up, I quickly opened up my towel ... and a dime-sized spider popped out and I saw it shoot toward the corner of the bathroom. Thoroughly freaked out, I examined the rest of my towel just in case there was another arachnid surprise ... and found the small eggsack that Charlotte left behind. Sometime between my shower yesterday and today, that eight-legged creature decided it was time to nest. Now, I'm beyond the point of the heebie jeebies, but I had to get ready to go to Urgent Care, so I didn't have time to think about it.

If this happened anytime else, and if I didn't have more important things to think about, I would have just kept freaking out for the rest of the day. Gross.

Oh, and the doc confirmed it was conjunctivitis in Violet's eye, so we got some drops - so far, she's fairly easygoing with taking that medication.

Doctor, doctor, Gimme the news, I've got a bad case of loving you

Today was Violet's first doctor's visit and I'm relieved it was scheduled so soon. Violet and I have been having struggles getting her breastfeeding habits down and it's been difficult. I wasn't taking too much offense to how many nurses it took us to get her to feed while we were at the hospital over the weekend or how it was proving to be largely unsuccessful when we finally got home. I know, and have been told, how there is a big learning curve on both the mother and child's part in getting into a rhythm.

I was not going to be deterred. I knew I wanted to go this route even before countless people started spouting stacks of data to support breastfeeding. But I also knew that sometimes, it just doesn't happen and it means nothing other than having to take alternative actions to nourish the baby. I was not going to let the first few detours throw me off. But, after last night's long marathon of *(editor's note) no little result, I was getting very worried that Violet wasn't getting was she needed, hence the relief to have an appointment with a medical professional.

They were nothing but nice in checking her out and even allowed me to sit with an incredibly kind and patient nurse who actually SHOWED what Scott and I could do, rather than just wake me up in a mostly sleep deprived state to shove Violet around me and leave before I could really ask a proper question once my brain finally caught up with being awake and alert.

Last night's frustrations added to many, many people repeating, 'Don't take it personally; it's perfectly natural; it has no reflection on you' and the fact that everything on my body aches, from my toes to my head, I finally had my first Mommy Freak Out.

With everyone saying, 'Don't worry', 'Don't worry', it's basically like saying to someone: DO NOT THINK OF A PINK ELEPHANT. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT THINK OF A PINK ELEPHANT. Well, guess what? I thought of the damn pink elephant. In fact, I ended up thinking about a whole herd and that herd stampeded over me with a large dose of hormonal-losing-it.

I was disappointed and a little worried before, but I was fine with the pediatrician telling me that we needed to supplement Baby Girl's breastfeeding with formula. And I already have a breast pump, so she will still get what my body produces for her and I was never under the thrall of the ideal and magical bond she and I will share with breastfeeding. I already knew if that wasn't going to happen, it's not the end all, be all in bonding. Where my 'fine' derailed is person after person telling me it's fine and don't worry and don't give up. I had no intention of doing any of those things until the chorus of those people's well intentioned encouragement did the opposite effect and completely spun me out.

It took me a little while to regroup and find my inner voice I was listening to before the freak out, but I found it, I resumed the doctor's orders and Violet and I (and Scott who had to talk me down from the ledge) continued on with our evening. We have another appointment tomorrow and we get to see the result of the first day's work.

It's just funny how I react to what people's go-to idea of what 'support' means.

One and one and one is three

Happy Valentine's Day!

My funny Valentine, Sweet comic Valentine, You make me smile with my heart

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch,
and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why,
and you cry and you cry and you cry. - "Friends: The One with the Birth"

 

Violet Atsuko Fourre

On February 11, 2011, Baby Girl came screaming into the world at 4:49 pm after an incredibly long and complicated day. Without going too TMI, here's the story of how she joined the world.

Since her due date was Feb 6, on our Feb 7th appointment, we made arrangements to have her induced. The date of 2/11/11 appealed to both Scott and I, for our separate reasons: his because it's a date that's easy to remember, and mine because I felt it almost poetic that it marked exactly a year since I lost my job in TN that helped kick start my time in Idaho. So, we made set up the appointment and the nurse said, 'great, it's set up. Come in 1600 on Thursday' - which confused the both of us, but we didn't feel the need for an explanation and just said 'no problem.'

Thursday rolled around, I repacked the hospital bag, double checked the checklist and Scott came home early from work. We got all of the stuff together in my car, I fired up my iPod for some tunes and we both laughed at "Like A Surgeon" by Weird Al popping on. We should have taken this to be an omen for the next day.

Apparently, the reason why we were called in on Thursday afternoon was to insert something to get my dilation to further progress. (Again, there are going to be some parts I'll vague out to help avoid TMI.) Once that was done, we were told that we could just go home and relax as much as we can till either my water breaks or my contractions get 3-5 minutes apart. So, home we went. We spent the rest of the evening watching "American President" and "Mission Impossible 3" (my choices) while I sat, paced and tried to breathe through incredible discomfort. At around 1 in the morning, I decided it was time to head in.

Right away they got me hooked up to various machines and it took three tries to get an IV in, but after several hours, I was hooked up to an epidural and feeling nothing below my naval. This was just to get a baseline of how effective that wonderful, marvelous drug would be for me and later got the pitocin and then broke my water at around 1 in the afternoon. After near three hours of active labor, baby still wasn't in any mood to join us. After a discussion about what to do next, we all agreed on a cesarean section and I was rolled into the OR.

After a little over an hour, we heard lots of baby crying, a doctor held her up to show a pair of tiny feet poking above the blue curtain that separated where my head was lying and Scott's seat to the surgery and the doctors called him over to the heat bed to tell him some of her vitals.

Violet was born at 8 pounds 5 ounces, with a full head of curly dark hair, all fingers and toes (and working joints, because, yes, I checked) and cute dimples.

We spent the weekend at the hospital and was discharged Sunday afternoon. I'm having a bit of trouble getting around, but the pain pills they gave me help tremendously. We are still amazed at what all happened and both Scott and I are delirious on happiness and intermittent sleep.

We love all of the attention we've been getting from family and friends, and we swear that once we get any sort of groove going we will be more responsive to phone calls, texts, emails and Facebook. And there will be a wealth of pictures...eventually.

It's time to play the music, It's time to light the lights, It's time to get things started...

Because the due date has come and gone, we set up the appointment to induce the labor for Friday. At my last checkup on Monday, everything looked good and the baby is healthy, so we are all set to get this party started.

At first the appointment was going to be made for next Monday, but Scott and I have been discussing how we would like Baby Girl to have a birthday separate from Valentine's Day and we like the sound of 2/11/11 as her birthday. The hospital is pretty accommodating, so we just asked for Friday and they said no problem. We are expected to check into the hospital this afternoon, which makes me think the process will start early in the morning tomorrow.

There is still a possibility that she may come today, so we'll see how the next couple of days turns out.

I will ask for any messages to be sent to either here or our Facebook accounts. I'll be busy doing some last minute things around the house and hopefully catching a nap before going in and cell phones are allowed in the hospital, but not really encouraged to be used. Thank you to all of our supporters!

Here we go...

Wishing and hoping and thinking and praying...

I am officially due tomorrow. We were sure the Little One was going to make her debut earlier than this, given what the doctor told us at our last visit this past Monday, but so far, no go. I don't want to rush her, but we are eagerly anticipating the baby to make three.

Instead of just sitting around making ourselves crazy waiting and fighting off the 'is she here yet', 'is she here yet' chants from all over, we unboxed the diaper pail, laundered the last bit of bedding, burp rags and bibs and put the finishing touches of decorations up in her room. We still have other photographs we'd like to develop and frame, but it's a good beginning.

This is what is hanging above her door

A watercolor painting my sister made

Calendar my Mom gave me

A watercolor my friend painted (resting on the dresser) and a watercolor from an artist we met at a Art in the Park in Boise (hanging).