Saturday, February 7, 2015

When I was a boy, See that picture? That was me, Grass-stained shirtand dusty knees

Recently a friend tagged me on Facebook to notify me of a Kickstarter project. While I appreciate the need for this and I may buy this if found on a discount, here's where I lie on getting clothes (and general upbringing) for my daughter: why choose?

I don't think clothes should have to be either girly or boyish. Yes, there is a distinct lack of printed fabric with pirates or dinosaurs or zombies (except, I guess Monster High) in the girls' department, but why should this stop anyone to shop in just the CHILDREN'S department.

During her infant stage, I did encounter several Moms who would just take a glance and ask how old my baby boy was, based purely on the fact that she had short curly hair and a NY Giants onesie (or Mets, or a blue shirt), and I couldn't really hold it against people like that and their quick categorizations. That's fine. But that's not what irks me. I dressed her up (and still continue to dress her up) in things that are undeniably 'girly'. Examples:





But, there's nothing stopping me from doing this, either:


Mixing and matching from the entire department gives me options. It gives me the freedom to mix deep blue, a 'boy' color, with a pastel color, a 'girl'. But, wait -- there's more!

Why choose between girl activities and boy ones? I was in T-ball, jazz tap, baton twirling, volleyball, stage crew for the drama club, and babysat on a regular basis. There's nothing spectacular about this. And, I'll tell you, there was a long stretch of time where I thought to be a girl, I had to know makeup, and dress cute and not know about boy things. I got over that eventually.

The pushback also drives me a little batty. To put a label on yourself like 'tomboy' just because you are so emphatically trying to distance yourself from 'girly' forces girls choose on the flip side of the coin you are trying to fight against. (And, it also corners boys into feeling like they have to choose, too.)

I have Violet enrolled into ballet classes because at the time, that was the only class I could put a 3 year old girl. Do I have visions of Sugerplum fairies dancing in my head?


While she does make an adorable fairy, no - I had her in that class to learn teamwork, listening and to play with other kids her age. The VERY MOMENT she is old enough to try to throw her hips in an attitude position, pout and sashay around, I will let her finish out the recital and get her into T-ball or ANY OTHER activity that will help teach her teamwork, sportsmanship and listening skills. Mamma ain't got time for divas. (Not when she wants to get dirty like this:)




Nothing should really limit me in what I encourage. My only concern is to make my daughter a better human. Sports? Sure, go for it - in participation or knowledge, or for the pure enjoyment of watching. Fashion? Sure, go ahead and know what styles you like. But, just as Coco Chanel is a style, so is Punky Brewster. Construction? Sure, you should know how to operate simple tools without fear.

Dress down, dress up. Original Legos, Lego 'Friends'. Dinosaurs, baby dolls. DC/Marvel Comics, Disney princesses. (Disney princesses is an entire different can of worms of which I will eventually jot down ideas.)

When I Was a Boy - Dar Williams

It's 'and', not 'or'. And to play.

(ADDITIONAL NOTE: I know this is going to be slightly harder to apply for people raising boys, namely for the clothing part. But I don't have a son and only know about raising a daughter, so keep that in mind.)