All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

My bag is packed. The car seat is strapped in and waiting. The room is set. Pretty much everything is good to go for Baby Girl's arrival. Now it's just a waiting game.

I've been forcing myself to keep calm, cool and collected, which I honestly thought would be a whole lot harder at this stage of the game. Scott's been really fantastic about not allowing me to overexert myself and takes care of stuff around the house. I spent a large part of the weekend sitting down a lot to stay off my feet to keep them from swelling into Hobbit-feet. And as I sit, Baby Girl would shift, shudder and occasionally hiccup while giving me small glimpses of what contractions feel like. I'm still in 'early labor' which basically means that I just have to be aware but not alarmed.

One of the ways I've been trying to lessen any possible stressers is avoiding my phone. So far, it's been working wonderfully. I already have a multi-tiered 'plan' of how I'll let people know when the action starts happening, and I figure if I can be patient, so can everyone else.

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch, Who watches over you

In the last week, Baby Girl's room has really started to take shape. We've received all of the major furniture pieces from Babies 'R Us and Scott has put everything together. We're feeling pretty good with how the room looks. This is what we started with:

And now, after lots of work from Scott with putting the furniture pieces together, this is what we've got ready:

Two weekends ago, I was treated to a very sweet surprise. Since Scott had a three day weekend to recover from his head cold, we both decided that we would take it easy, rest up and clean the house for the house guest we were expecting. Our Saturday started in a very lazy manner, slowly getting out of bed, hanging out and catching up on some of the programming off our DVR. It was early afternoon when Scott decided he was going to finish replacing the O2 sensor on his car, but he needed to borrow a a tool from a buddy, so he took off. I took this opportunity to play some Animal Crossing. I played long past the time he came back and from the computer, Scott nonchalantly suggested I go and take a bath to relax. This made me think that I was unknowingly acting all tense and crazy, and I took the suggestion as something helpful, but declined because I needed to clean the tub first. I got up and took a shower instead, and when I came back out to the living room, I was greeted with:

I found out that my in-laws had been sending boxes over to a friend's address so that Scott could set up a mini-surprise baby shower. He picked up the cake, as well as the presents (and that tool he needed for the car) and was insisting on the bath because he figured that would give him more time to set up. We sat down, unwrapped the presents and had the football playoffs on in the background. We both had a great time.

Since then, we've been receiving a steady stream of boxes from all of our friends and family. I've been keeping all of the packing slips in a shoe box and taking pictures of all of the great stuff people have been so kind in giving us. This is mostly so that I can successfully write up the thank-you cards since my short-term memory seems to be on the fritz. We have appreciated everything we've unwrapped on behalf of Baby Girl, but to be absolutely honest, this present from my sister's husband made me laugh out loud the most:

I'm 33 for a moment, Still the (woman), but you see I'm a they, A kid on the way, A family on my mind

Things that have happened since my last birthday:

• (Re) Started my life with Scott
• Went to Vegas to celebrate turning 32
• Lost a job in Tennessee
• Had a last minute surprise for Valentines weekend
• Went to my 10th home opener for the Mets
• Moved to Idaho
• Found out I am pregnant
• Got married in Colorado in front of close family and some friends (and 'celebrated' by going to a Barenaked Ladies concert at the Red Rocks)
• Moved into a very nice house
• Found out we're expecting a girl
• Attended 3 out of the 6 weddings of friends
• Found out 4 other people I know are expecting, one of whom already delivered a healthy baby boy
• Had my first Christmas with my new husband and a 'real' home

 All in all, it's been a blissfully eventful year.

There's so much to be done, Count all the bees in the hive, Chase all the clouds from the sky, Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh

We're in the final weeks. At any time, I can start my contractions, my water can break and I can start my mad dash across town to the base hospital. For those who know my personality, you would think that I would be prepared. Wait, I mean OVER prepared. With the hospital-stay-bag already packed and ready by the door. The nursery completely set up and ready to receive baby girl's presence. Her outfit picked out for when we get to take her home. And yet...

None of those things are true. We do have her stroller/car seat, so we can at least take the baby home with us. The furniture, room decor, baby essentials (like burping clothes, onesies, pacifiers, diaper bag) have been selected, but it's still not a visible reality, but some of the key furniture pieces are on they way. Today I get to pick up the comfy rocking chair and ottoman from the store (thanks, Mom and Dad!), so I'm pretty excited to see that in our living room.

The house is not clean - it's still recovering from Christmas. I have yet to experience the 'nesting phase' and a small part of me was actually counting on it to help get my butt in gear with the cleaning and rearranging. Now it looks like I'll just have to force myself to be diligent and get it done. Looks like I just added that task to the weekend roster.

I don't have anything in the refrigerator prepared to just reheat or quickly throw together for the meals I won't have energy to cook after Little Girl comes. I have in mind a couple of recipes that would be frozen and reheated for future consumption, but still have to go shopping. Yet another project.

With the list still as long as it was several weeks ago, I would, could, should be freaking out. Normally, I would feel terribly overwhelmed, frustrated and defeated looking at all of the "To Do" and be really harsh on myself for not accomplishing any of it on my own, hindered by my dwindling energy level or the fact that my vision has gone wonky in the last month and a half. Why don't I feel this way?

I can only guess it is because I'm under the calm influence of Scott. He reassures me that all will be taken care of in time. Not in the scary last minutes. But safely and gently in time for Baby Girl to come make her home in our Pooh Corner. There were days that I let the weight of the tasks crush my spirit, but all he has to do is give me a hug and some soothing words and that does some wonderful magic on my psyche. It's really amazing and baffling at the same time. But it works and I no longer feel like I'm losing my mind, so I will not argue the result.

So rather than concentrating my energy in making myself crazy with all that has to be done, I am channeling my thoughts to preparing a calm, fun and loving home. I know there are things to be done and I will take care of what I can, as soon as I can, and whatever I can't handle will be taken care of by God with Scott as his conduit.

And with that peace, the first order of business for the day is to find a place to hang this plaque my parents gave me for Christmas:

She's actual size, But she seems much bigger to me

I'm in my 34th week of pregnancy, and up until now, it has been a wonderfully easy pregnancy, from what I understand with talking to other women who have gone through the experience. I have yet to go through any hint of the morning sickness some women go through and the only true complaint I have so far is that I'm incredibly tired, either from insomnia or just my body working hard to support the little one. But being unemployed gave me the freedom to nap whenever I wanted. And I've been able to keep most of my hormonal emotions in check, no irrational mood swings, and 'pregnant brain' hasn't really affected me too badly. And even now that Baby Girl is started to fight against the restraints of such tight quarters which results in mild to HOLY-CRAP discomfort, it usually passes fairly quickly, and I can't really blame her - I wouldn't want to be smushed like that either.

The problem I've been dealing with in the last month or so, is fighting the urge to break out into tears because I feel like a big, honking zeppelin. Intellectually, I knew that my size would change and all of these changes are part of the beautiful process of creating life. Well, that's all nice and good for a greeting card, but hearing the unsympathetic words of the OB doctor whom I've seen the last two appointments just makes me feel swollen like a blob, not with the joy of a soon to be motherhood (especially when his words are, "You've gained 10 pounds in the last month; what happened there?" Insensitive mofo.)

The swollen feet and ankles don't bother me (actually, it's really quite amusing to me to see the change in sizes from day to day) as much as just catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror or trying to kneel or put on socks. It is then when I realize that all of the weight I have been putting on is preventing me from feeling anywhere near normal. And being a petite person, going from 125 to 180 in a year is hella scary.

I know that there is a significant portion of the weight that will be taken care of once I give birth and the fact that I plan to breastfeed also will help matters. But after the childbirth, I wanted to start putting together the wedding celebration plans that Scott and I never got to elaborate on in July. The thought of trying to find a wedding dress in my current state of mass just makes me think of Kirby in a off-white frock (Nintendo fans, anyone?)

My loving husband has been exceedingly supportive and soothing to my insecurities. He's a saint for doing so. And for the few I've spoken to about this specific dent to my self image, they have also been nice and understanding. I try to take their words as more than sweet words of reassurance. But it's hard to fight the scale and the reflection in the mirror.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird

Ok - that's not real. I do not want a mockingbird. That darn thing will sit there and mimic all kinds of nonsense, only adding to the noise I anticipate with Baby Girl's symphony of sounds.

What I would like to provide are the baby registries that I have (at long last!) finalized for this little one. Since I probably won't have a baby shower until after she's born, I don't quite know what the etiquette is for letting people know that we have a list of material wants and needs. So, I figure that this would be the easiest way to let people know, if they so choose to check it out.

If there are any questions, give me a shout either on my email or my Facebook. If you don't know how to contact me on either one of those mediums, I guess drop a comment here and I'll get back to you =)

Happy Holidays, if I don't get to post before Christmas passes. I hope everyone will be warm and surrounded by love.

Amazon registry

Target registry

Babies R Us registry

I could have saved so much time for us, Had I seen the way to get to where I am today

I have been very negligent about keeping this blog current, though I have thought of a great deal of many things to write about in the last several weeks. Being that I don't want this to be solely dedicated to my pregnancy, I think it's high time to rewind a bit and tell the story of how I met my husband.

Our story isn't a short one to tell. And it's because of my doing - mostly. You know when people (and I have said this myself on occasion) say, "If only I could talk to a younger version of myself, things would have worked out smoother."? Well, when my life's path really started looking clearer, this is what I used to believe. Until I really thought about and knew that would be too much of a gimmie.

Scott and I have known each other pretty much since I graduated high school. He's four years older and went to the sister high school, so it was actually through mutual friends and our shared interest in stage work for the local theater group that brought us in the same circles. We would end up at the same gatherings, laugh over the same silly jokes and generally have a good time whenever around each other.

It wasn't until after he decided to join the Air Force when anything started coming to light. When he finished basic training, he made several calls to friends just to catch us up on how the experience had been going for him and I remember his phone call and the fact that we spoke for nearly 2 hours. His first base assignment was in Germany so we didn't see him for a long stretch of time. One of the first times he came back, we were having a huge party and after several different drinking games (and some help from the Captain), I found out that there had been a crush brewing. I was flattered, however I was in another relationship at the time and that was all that could be done at the time. This was 8 years ago.

Time passed and Germany changed to a hotter, sandier place in the Middle East. While he was stationed there, he and I emailed each other, mostly because both of us were so bored. Since the usual format of sharing what happened in our day to day was not really worth writing about, I started a format of asking a question concerning anything of his life and then waiting to hear the answer with a question from him at the end of his email. This exchange lasted through his time in the Middle East and his return to Germany. We covered many different subjects and really got to know each other. This lasted a better part of two years.

By the time 2004 rolled around, I was single and we decided it was time to try dating. Our dating consisted of a lot of phone dates, emailing, a couple of weddings and precious little time spent in the same time zone, but I remember having a wonderful courtship. Sadly, this came to an end when his assignment changed from North Dakota to Idaho, because I took that as a sign that timing wasn't on our side. This brings us to early 2006.

Even while we were no longer together, we kept a friendship and would see each other at several different weddings. I was dating a different guy, but all the while I knew in the back of my mind that Scott would always be special to me.

But it wasn't until early summer of 2009 that I realized that he was more than just a special past relationship. He was THE relationship. It took a little while longer, a break-up and a loss of a job in Tennessee for me to finally be free to have my long awaited chance with Scott, who had been patiently waiting for me all along.

It took us this long to finally have the relationship we were always meant to have. And even though we've experienced uneven pacing, neither one of us could be happier about where we are now. Finally together, expecting a baby daughter and incredibly, unbelievably happy.